nut hugger
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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