Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
