She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
