you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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