I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
