so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
