But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I still have a little drunk in my system
pray to the hookup gods
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
