It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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