Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
