Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
