she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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