you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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