we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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