everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
