are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
