I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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