I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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