i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
