Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize