Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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