my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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