one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
