this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You've changed since you got that strap on
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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