i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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