so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
