Got a toothbrush?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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