Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
