When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
