I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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