drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you had me at cake vodka
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
