We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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