this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
