i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
