Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you inspire me to be a worse person
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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