Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
