i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A bitchslap is in order.
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