none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
