I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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