there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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