Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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