I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
