Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
