well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
