we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
