After last night, I could never be a politician.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
