I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
