wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
