it hurts more in the daytime
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
