I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
