Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
